The Tether Effect
by GleekerslovesFinchel
Summary: "When you love someone like I loved her their a part of you. It's like your attached by an invisible tether." Finn felt that way, he had always felt that way. And he was going to make things right.


**Here is a one shot to get me out of my writing funk!(:**

"**The Tether Effect."**

**Summary: "When you love someone like I loved her there a part of you. It's like your attached by an invisible tether." Finn felt that way, he had always felt that way. AU one-shot.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee. If I did, a lot of things would be different.**

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><p>"<em>I miss my sister..."<em>

Everyone was already crying at the funeral, and part of Finn didn't understand why. This was the first funeral her had really ever attended and he was a little confused. All the girls were crying and they didn't even know Jean. Even some of the boys were crying. He felt like a heartless monster for not shedding a tear.

Of course, he did feel sorry for Sue. But he just couldn't find it in himself to feel anything at this moment. Especially since Quinn was sitting next to him and squeezing his hand. It just didn't feel right.

"_Every night at ten or so she used to call me on the phone, and when I asked why, she told me her body told her..."_

Now he really felt bad for her. She was crying and couldn't even continue her speech, Quinn leaned into him and kissed his cheek. He wasn't sure why, but it stung. The spot she had kissed stung. It was a strange feeling and he felt wrong.

Slowly Mr. Shuester made his way to the stand. To continue reading for her.

"_She wanted to her my voice. I miss my sister."_

Finn was starting to see why his mom had never taken him to any funerals. They were sad and they really got you thinking. He couldn't help but wonder if he had attended his dads funeral when he was just a tiny baby. Or if his mom had left him with a baby sitter.

He thought that was sweet. That her sister wanted to hear her voice. He remembered when his body felt like that. Like he _needed_ to here someone's voice. But that was a long time ago and things were different now. He was with someone else, and he was happy.

Kind of...

"_The smell of her shampoo."_

He tries to dismiss the thought that immediately comes to his head. This is a funeral, for Jean Sylvester. He shouldn't be thinking about _her_ right now. He should be focused on the matter at hand. Though part of him is. But the other part is really far away, thinking about _her _still.

Finn looks over at Quinn and smiles a sad smile. She squeezes his hand and gives him a stern look that says pay attention. It annoys him, but he tries not to let it get to him. He thinks _she_ would've smiled right back at him, or hugged him, or looked at him like she was everything.

But Quinn isn't _her_. He picked Quinn over _her._

"_The way she could always convince me too read another book."_

He sighs. Now he feels like he might cry. With every word Mr. Shue reads, the reality of everything sets in. Finn wonders if this is how his dad's funeral was. If everyone was crying, and if his mom said a speech about his life. He decides he doesn't want to know. He thinks about asking Rachel if she'll...wait. Quinn. He means Quinn. He wants to ask _Quinn_ if she'll be there when he asks his mom.

It's no use. He meant Rachel. He knows he did. He thinks about her all the time everyday, but he thinks about Quinn too. She makes him happy. And he _loves_ her he really does. He just doesn't know if he's in love with her. And that could become a problem...

"_When you love someone like I loved her, they become a part of you."_

Oh that was true. Finn knew that was true. When you love someone they do become a part of you. Like his mom for instance. She was his everything. She was everything he needed, and she loved him too. He was her everything as well, well besides Burt and Kurt, but Finn was definitely willing to share her with them.

Also, his dad. He'd never met the guy, but he was part of him too. He always tried to think, would this make dad proud? Or, would he be disappointed if I did this? Before he did anything. And most of the time, it helped him from making mistakes.

Rachel. She was another. He loves her that much. Enough to where she became a huge part of him. A part he hoped would never a leave. A part he misses all the time.

"_It's like your attached by this invisible tether, and no matter how far away you are, you can always feel them."_

Finn had never felt more connected to something someone said until now. This, the tether, that was the feeling. The one he could never describe but always knew it was there. The one he felt with Rachel, but not Quinn.

He thinks it's bad that he doesn't feel it with Quinn, but right now he doesn't care.

Finn feels this with Rachel. It's like even though they aren't together anymore, he still feels it. She's the one he thinks about late, late at night when he can't sleep. And at this very second, he wants nothing more to be holding her hand instead of Quinn's.

"_And now every time I reach for that tether I know there's no one on the other end, and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness."_

That's how he feels. Without Rachel being his. Like he's falling into a big black hole that never ends. It hurts. He never wants to ever know that she's not on the end of this tether. She's too important. And he is not going to let her slip through his fingers. Not again, he can't.

He's done it too many times before.

"_And then I remember Jean."_

Jean. Finn thinks she was probably great. He wishes he would've gotten to meet her, that way he'd know if this would be the funeral she would've liked. He can only hope that this funeral is close to something she would've loved. She seemed amazing. Anyone who can make Sue nice, has to be an amazing person.

"_I remember a life lead with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I'm inspired to get up out of bed and go on."_

He wishes he could have a life like that. Finn's got plenty of enemies, resentments, and regrets. Oh boy does he have regrets. His biggest regret? Breaking up with Rachel. Because she made a mistake.

The words she said to him when they broke up kept ringing in his ears. _You promised you'd never break up with me._ Rachel was right. He did promise. But that was before he knew how she would make him feel. And before she ripped his heart out and stomped on it like nobody's business.

But then again...he messed up too. He had sex with Santana and then _lied. _He was a liar. And she gave him every opportunity to come clean. But he didn't he kept it to himself because he was afraid she would leave him.

Well, she didn't leave him alright.

"_I miss my sister so much it feels like a piece of me has been ripped off."_

He knows that feeling too well. The one where he feel like some things missing. Like it's been ripped away from you and there's nothing you can do about it. In this moment he realized the huge difference between him and Sue. Her sister is never coming back. She can't do anything about it. She only has the memories left. But he, he can fix this. He can break up with Quinn and get his girl back.

Something he should've done a long time ago, but was too worried about doing. He only really got back together with Quinn to make Rachel jealous and to try and fill the void in his heart that only a tiny brunette with a voice that's like magic can fill.

"_Just one more time I want to hold her."_

Ditto. One more time, and maybe then he can get over her? Maybe all this thinking that the speech had made him do was not even true. Maybe he didn't love Rachel still. Even as he thought it he knew it was a lie. He didn't want to just hold her one last time, he wanted to hold her for the rest of their lives.

"_Just ten more seconds—is that to much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her?"_

He wishes for Sue's sake that she could hold her sister one last time. He wishes that she could see her again, because he sort of knows that feeling. Its almost the same feeling he has about his dad. Like that he got jipped because his dad was taken from the world way before he should've been. He figures maybe that's how Sue feels.

"_But I can't and I won't and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did."_

He can hear Quinn crying softly beside him. He knows he has to break up with her. He can't keep doing this to her or himself. It's not what he wants and he is miserable living this lie he calls love. Because it's not love. What Quinn and he has isn't love. It never was. Well, okay maybe he _loves _her. But he isn't in love with her at all.

And that's why this has to stop this now.

"_So for now I'm just going to miss her. I love you Jeanie. Rest in peace."_

It's over. Mr. Shue hugs Sue and it's time for the glee club to sing. The whole time they are, Finn thinks about Rachel. And about what he's going to say to Quinn. And when he's going to break up with her. He watches Rachel as they sing and he can see the sadness in her eyes. He can't help but wonder if she feels the same way he does.

Like if maybe she feels the tether with him too. He really hopes so, but if she doesn't, and she's moved on, he can't really blame her. He did break up with her.

Once they finish singing Quinn hugs him and tells him she's going to go to the ladies room and that she'll meet him in the car. It's the first time he's been alone since he started thinking about all of this, and it starts to get to him. He begins to cry and he wishes he wasn't, because now Quinn will know some things up and ask him about it. And Finn didn't think he would be able to get himself to lie to her.

He see's Quinn walking out of the funeral home and towards the car. She'd been gone a while, but before he got the chance to say anything, she spoke, "Sorry. Long line in the rest room. Everyone was fixing their mascara." She placed her hand on his hand while he wiped his eyes with his other.

"You did such a great job at the funeral. I'm so proud of you," She pauses. To look at him. Really see why all he's giving her is a simple painful half smile, "Why are you crying?" She finishes. He sighs and looks out towards the parking lot at everyone leaving.

"Because I'm breaking up with you." It falls out of Finn's mouth and he's secretly glad it did. He is so glad he had the courage to say it, because that's one thing he had been afraid of. That he wouldn't be able to break up with her out of fear of being alone.

Quinn stiffens visibly. "Because of Rachel? Because you still love her?" She asks. Her tone is still soft, but Finn can tell she's upset. But can he blame her? He just broke up with her. At a funeral. That was kind of a scummy thing to do...but it needed to be done.

" I shouldn't have done this with you. I thought I could fix everything from last year but I...I can't." Finn tries to get her to understand. But it's not working. She sits there quietly and he's not sure what to say now. But he feels like he owes her an explanation.

So he continues. "And that feeling that Sue was talking about in there. That being tethered to someone...I...I just...don't feel that way about you." He explains. The best way he can. Because it's the truth, and he really wants her to understand. He doesn't want to hurt her. That was never his intention, but he's just done.

"But you do with her?" Quinn wonders. He doesn't say anything just looks ahead. She sighs dramatically and shakes her head. "No. We aren't breaking up. I can handle you confusion with Rachel until you get over it, then next year we can be prom King and Queen and..."

Finn can't believe her. Is she really that shallow? Is that all she cares about? "Just stop it., okay. I don't want that life. Don't you feel anything anymore?" He basically shouts the question at her, and he can't help but think it feels good to get this all out.

"This is real. This is happening." He tells her. She doesn't say anything for a couple of seconds. Just lets a few tears go down her cheeks that he thinks look fake. Finally she turns to him angrily.

"Are you happy now?" She asks ready to get out of the car. "Is this me feeling enough for you?"

"Quinn...I'm sorry I still lo-" She cuts him off.

She stares at him meanly saying, "Just don't touch me." Then gets out of his car and walks away. Part of him is relieved, but the other par wishes things had gone better. Because this sucks. He feels bad and wonders how she's going to get home, but then see's Rachel. And at this moment he's really feels the tether he has with her. Because they aren't together but somehow she's helping him through this.

It's the effect the tether has on him that keeps him going all the way home. He never even cries once when he goes to his room wordlessly. He just wants _her_. No, not Quinn. Rachel. The one that this is all about. The one that when it comes to him, everything is about.

There tether is one that can't be broken, because there's too much love in the way for it to snap. It's there tether that makes him decide he needs to fix things with her, and fast. Before Jesse gets a hold of her and he loses her to that jerk again.

That can't happen. He needs her.

He needs to fix everything between them. He loves her more than anything and wants her back. No, he needs her back. Because without her, he's one half of a heart. One half of a soul. One half of a _tether_. All those things need her.

Finn isn't going to mess this up again. He'll show her. He'll make sure she knows that this time he means business and that he never wants to be without her again. Not for as long as he lives, and he plans on living a long time.

And too think. All it took was the realization of the tether to get him to where he is now. Ready to really make this relationship work, and to never let it fall to pieces again.

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><p><strong>I hope that wasn't stupid hah please tell me if you enjoyed it(: It was actually pretty easy to write! Well review my lovelies! :* - Abby:D<strong>


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